Causes and Effects of Divorce

Divorce is an immensely painful experience. While no couple actively wishes for a divorce there are some unavoidable reasons for getting a divorce.
| Monday, January 12, 2009
People often dream of a fairy tale romance and get married to what they believe are their soul mates. Stories however do not always have beautiful endings. The number of individuals opting for divorce has been steadily increasing over the past few years. Some problems in the marriage can be resolved through variety of ways including counseling but sometimes the only solution to living happily is by parting ways. While the exact reasons for divorces cannot be completely determined it has been observed that in recent times more numbers of women have been initiating divorce as compared to men.  Some common causes of divorce include:

Couples often end up having disputes over money. In many cases one of the partners is invariably not happy with the spending habits of the other individual. This can result in massive fights. That money is a contentious issue among couples can be seen from the fact that opinion polls indicate as many as ninety percent respondents reporting fights over money. Likewise over 34% couples indicated that money was one of the major problems.

Alcohol and Substance Abuse
Any form of substance abuse can put a terrible strain on a relationship as substance abuse is often followed with abusive behavior. Many people cannot put up with the addictive behavior of their partners and this causes divorce.

Sexual Problems
Improper and problematic attitudes towards sex also results in problems within the marriage and this is responsible for eventual divorce. Infidelity in particular has been responsible for breakdown of many relationships and marriages.

Immaturity and Jealous Attitude
Immaturity on part of one of the partners and placing excessive demands on the partner are also some of the causes of divorce.

The actual figures of marital strife, abuse and violence in marriage are not completely known but studies indicate that around five percent of the marriages experience domestic abuse and this is one of the causes of divorce.

Many younger couples complain about too much meddling and involvement of their in-laws in their lives. There are also complains of excessive demands of the in-laws on their time and this puts a strain on the marital relationship.

Myth of a Fairy Tale Relationship
Many times people have unrealistic expectations from marriage and what it is supposed to be like and when this distorted view is not realized, it results in divorce. 

Lack of Communication
Lack of communication is also one of the common causes of divorce. Because of lack of communication people are unable to resolve problems and issues that occur within the relationship and the conflicts can in the end cause tremendous strain on the relationship.

Irrespective of whether divorce is mutually agreed upon or a contested one it can be a terrible blow to both the individuals. Divorce can never be an easy affair and effects of divorce on the individuals involved include depression and stress. However there are some positive effects of divorce particularly where the two individuals are involved in a very acrimonious relationship. Divorce in such a case can actually help the individuals to get their lives sorted out and find happiness on their own without being saddled in an unhealthy relationship.

Effects of Divorce on Children
  • Research has indicated that children belonging to high conflict homes actually fared much better after a divorce between their parents. However children belonging to low conflict homes did not fare well if the marriage ended in divorce. This is perhaps because children growing up in low conflict homes did not see their parents fighting and therefore a break up and consequent divorce was a huge shock to them.
  • Children seeing their parents divorce often feel scared about what will happen to them. They also worry about their family and what would happen to them in the future. If one parent leaves the house then they worry about that parent and whether they would get to see that parent again.
  • Many children often blame themselves for the divorce though this is usually unfounded. Sometimes children are singled out and often blamed by parents for the divorce and that does not help the cause.
  • Some children suddenly become withdrawn and quiet or aggressive and upset. The anger can be because of the changes in the life of the children. Frustration also sets in because of these changes.
  • Children often feel lonely and neglected when the parents divorce. This is because the parents are often caught up in their own situation and the children tend to feel neglected and forgotten. If one of the parents leave the house then the children may interpret it as their rejection.
  • Watching the parents divorce can often make the children distrusting towards others. They do not wish to get hurt and so they are extremely cautious with their feelings. It is difficult for the children to look ahead in life with hope.
  • Studies also indicate that divorce causes children to become rebellious and behavioral deviation and problems are also seen in such children.
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