How to Flirt Effectively

Do you know flirting is a great tool to increase the comfort factor in a date and to signal your interest in the other person? Are you completely clueless about flirting? Read on to learn how to flirt effectively.
| Friday, October 24, 2008
Flirting refers to the interaction between individuals containing behavioral and other cues to romantic and sexual interest that the two individuals have in each other. This interest is conveyed subtly through the mannerisms, verbal interaction, body language and actual physical contact between the people involved. Men and women alike enjoy flirting and if it is done properly then it can have a glorious positive impact on the interaction and eventually the relationship. You don’t need to be exceptionally good looking to be successful at flirting. With some guidance and pointers you can easily learn how to flirt effectively. This is because flirting is a learned art or activity and if you practice it you can only get better at it. Men and women have different ways of flirting and women in particular cannot resist a man well versed in the art of flirting.
  • You might not be particularly good looking or beautiful but there may be some unique quality in you that is incredibly attractive. Try and accentuate this asset. For a woman it may be her sensuous lips or long dark hair or it may a great body for the man. Ensure that your assets are displayed in a classy manner and without looking vulgar. Dress in a way that brings out your best physical features since first impressions do matter. Likewise you may be particularly well read and intelligent. Whatever it is don’t hide your positive factors. This is what will allow your date to feel more attracted to you and that is the whole point of flirting.
  • Nothing is a bigger turn on for an individual than watching and talking to someone who is extremely confident. Be bold and confident about yourself and it is bound to generate curiosity from the other person about all that you stand for. A confident person automatically has tremendous sex appeal. If you are confident you will also be able to flirt with finesse and it will not seem as if it is forced.
  • Studies have shown that the way we smell attracts or repels the other individual. Women should wear a classy perfume and the smell should not be too overpowering. Likewise nothing can irritate a woman a much as a man who smells bad.
  • A sure shot way to flirt effectively and catch the attention of your date is by making eye contact. Initially it can be a brief glance and then a more deliberate eye contact after which you can give a soft smile and then look away. Let the gaze linger in a very natural way with your date noticing it. Let is not look like you are staring at your date. For men it is particularly important that the eye contact is subtle. Let it not be too obvious since it is down right offensive for a woman if the man stares at her continuously and you don’t want to come across as a complete sleaze ball. Also don’t do it too often. The man can lightly gaze at the woman’s lips from time to time followed by eye contact.
  • Once you have displayed your interest through eye contact you can flirt further. For women slightly tilting the head during conversation to display the neck is a very effective way of flirting. You can also lightly rub the back of the neck or softly bite your lips. Again the emphasis has to be on subtlety and elegance. Tossing the hair to one side, checking the lipstick, straitening the tie are all ways to flirt effectively. Posture also plays an important role in effective flirting. When you sit bending slightly forward towards your date it displays your interest. If the date has his/her hands cross over the chest region then it might be a clue of a lack of interest. Other ways of flirting include slightly moving your fingers down the stem or body of the glass you are holding. This can be rather suggestive and work well.
  • Be original as far as the conversation is concerned and particularly where pick up lines are concerned. You don’t want to sound cheesy. Women enjoy men who talk well so this is an opportunity for the man to charm his way into the lady’s mind.
  • Complimenting your date can be one of the best ways to flirt and suggest your interest in the concerned person. However be classy in your compliments and try not to sound as if you are indulging in idle flattery.
  • Sense of humor is also effective as a way of flirting with your date. Men in particularly totally appreciate a woman who has a sense of humor. Don’t be too corny with the jokes and don’t make it sound like you have rehearsed it.
  • Most women are very perceptive and more often than not know in a short time whether they will be getting along well with their dates. So don’t come across as a desperate person. Don’t get too touchy feely unless the lady initiates it. Smile so that you can come across as someone who loves and enjoys life and it will allow the lady to be at ease in your company. A smile also is an indication of your interest in the date and a great tool to flirt with the other person.
  • Another surefire way of flirting for a woman is to cross and uncross her legs since it is extremely seductive and can have the right effect on the man. Lightly touching the man on the forearm while talking, leaning forward are also excellent ways to flirt.
  • For a man it is important to show interest in the woman and what she is saying. Be a good listener; ask questions at the right time so as to signal your interest, nod your head lightly from time to time, and look intently but not for long. All this will allow the man to connect with the lady. Effective flirting is not just about senseless preening but letting the partner know that you are genuinely interested and that the moment belongs exclusively to that person.
  • When you are standing with your date you can initially stand within a distance of 4ft of the person and this is the social zone. If your date shows signs of interest through eye contact you can move closer within an arm’s length distance and this is the personal zone. Remember effective flirting should make the individuals feel comfortable with each other. A distance any closer than an arm’s length is best left for people who know each other very well or who are lovers.
  • Gesticulation also plays an important role in flirting since it is an indication of the level of interest in the interaction and also an attempt to keep the focus on the concerned individual.
It is important to realize that men and women tend to interpret the signals differently. So for men it is best not to read too much too soon.
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